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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

How I Became a Hockey Mom-Part 3

Art work by the Diva
I don't normally run around slapping the M.O.M. label on myself.  Don't get me wrong, I am very proud and honored to be a mother but I don't want that to be my only identifier.  I love calling myself a hockey mom because I am amused how my life has morphed into something I swore would never happen. I was NEVER going to be that person who spends too much time driving kids around to their activities...especially SPORTS, or I NEVER was going to drive a mini van (the horror!), or rewind my life a bit further and I can be quoted saying "I will NEVER have children".  I love my life now even with the new MOM title and my list of "nevers" make me chuckle.

After I started writing this series , I realized I could fill an entire book of what made me a hockey mom.  I also realized that hockey people are not the only crazy ones. The sport or activity could be swapped out because all things involving kids these days are insane...this just happens to be my nuttiness.

I am a Hockey Mom Because:

  • It didn't take long before the kids were playing more than just the regular season...there were camps, clinics, and off season leagues. We really should change our address to the ice arena.  I can't be accused of living vicariously through the kids because I play too!
  • We put up a rink in our backyard.  My husband refuses to water the lawn but has no problem letting hour outdoor hose run for 24 hours to fill the rink. 
  • I now carry a screw driver and pocket knife in my purse to fix helmets or cut hockey tape. Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT used to threaten or shank the loud-mouth mom slinging insults from the other bench.
  • The concession stand asks if I want "the usual".   A half coffee/half hot chocolate, a hot dog chips...I don't have this girlish figure from eating healthy hence the desire and need to make some changes.
  • I have been desensitized to hockey stench.  I got out of a ticket because of it.  It was so bad it made the officer that pulled me over gag.  Not familiar with hockey stench?  It can describe it as:   Sweat,  feet, BO, mold, wet dog, dead body, and  Axe Body Spray / Febreeze all mixed together.  Quite pungent. 
My new Bauer "Ottoman"
  • We purchased our family car because it fit 4 hockey bags and 8 people.  I know mini vans are about as cool as getting a colonoscopy, but the sliding doors make life wonderful when I can pull up to the rink door and have the kids tuck and roll out of the vehicle without having to get out and shut the doors.
  • Hockey bags are part of our living room furniture.  Sad but true.
  • My friends tell me that they take their families on something called a "vacation".  Evidently, they take time off of work and school and travel to cool places to relax with their family.  They look at me like I am nuts when I tell them with genuine excitement that our family gets to go to Breezy Point for a hockey tournament and they have a FREE nightly happy hour and a shuttle service to the rink.
  • Speaking of going out of town, we rarely are able to go out of town as an entire family.  Usually we are at separate out of town tournaments in opposite corners of the state and share the game with each other via text or Face Time.  I LOVE technology!!
  • I have a talent where I can hold a conversation, text game updates to people, and yell cheer for my kid simultaneously.  It is like I have a 6th sense unless it is when my kid scores.  EVERY SINGLE TIME my kid does something awesome, I miss it.  I always pick the wrong time to grab a coffee or go to the bathroom. I always hear the good stuff second hand.  I am beginning to wonder if the other parents are just making up stories to make me feel good about my children.
  • From the mouths of my children, I am told I am crazy crazy CRAZY!  They believe that I can yell Cheer the loudest.  What can I say, I like to support my little athletes.

When we first got in to it, people would joke that we "drank the Kool-aide".  Hell yeah we did, that shi*t is addicting!   Hockey is a lifestyle and not just a sport.

Speaking of....My PeeWee is on ice in 45 minutes. 

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